Gruel and Infeline Treatment

Those evil people are trying to starve me into submission. Okay, I have to admit that I was not eating my tuna because I knew those weaklings would soon buy me real prawns, but they've only gone and tried to feed me IAMS. What on earth is that muck? I had to go out and catch a mouse just to remind them what real kitty food looks like... and if my normal diet isn't restored soon, it'll be a mouse's head in the bed every morning until they give in!

Choose Life

Choose a day sleeping in the back garden... I chose not to choose tinned cat food... I chose prawns. Now the nasty people at Morrisons have bought my favourite purveyor of kitty treats, or Safeway as you might know them and have stopped selling freeze dried prawns. Unless I find another fix soon, it's going to be cold turkey for me.

The Lawn Ranger

Hey, where's my kitty grass gone? How else do they expect me to cough up this fur ball I've been planning for the last few weeks? Don't they know I have to eat vegetable matter to make myself sick every now and then!

Basket Cases

Do you know what those idiots have bought me? A cat basket, I ask you! What's wrong with piles of freshly washed laundry? Nice and comfy and somewhere for me to leave my hairs, what could be better?

Mice to See you

Slim picking so far. Some may say it's because I've already killed all the competition, but I've got some good news for you wildlife fans... a new set of meeces has moved into the area!

Salad Days

It's a bit early in the year, but as they say the early cat got the bird. Damn thing hid in the salad crisper. Put me right off it did, what the hell is salad?

A Bit of Quiet Please

I'm not a happy kitty. There are too many people in this house, where am I meant to get a nice cat nap? At least they've set up a home entertainment centre for me. Strange though, they keep on calling it a "Christmas Tree"