Feeling Hot Hot Hot!

Can one of you humans turn that big hot light in the sky off? Some of us have fur you know.

Evil Bathists!

It's now official. My owners are now the most evil people in the world. Their war crime... giving me a bath. I want these people executed for their crimes against felinity. All I did was use the carpets as toilet paper. I've been giving them the silent treatment until they repent and get me a big bucket of mussels.

Dangermouse!

I think someone's been running secret radioactive experiments in the back garden. The meece I caught today was a bit on the large size, I had a bit of a problem getting it through the cat flap. The idiots seemed to think it was a rat. A rat! I tell you, I'd run a mile if I thought there were rats around here. I've seen the Secret of Nimh! 

Something Rotten

I think I've disgusted them into forgetting about feeding me normal cat food! The tuna had run out, so they put out a bowl of Whiskas pouches... so I ate the mouldy stuff they hadn't cleaned out instead. That'll teach them!

Nice Feather We're Having

Pickings are slim around here. Caught my first feather of the year... unfortunately there was no bird attached to it.

The Green Green Grass has Gone

Those vandals have only gone and destroyed the one last remaining unspoiled wilderness. No longer can I hide in the tall lush grasses of the savannah, waiting from my prey. Yep, they've cut the grass in the back garden. I'm going to give Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth a call.

Chartered Surveying

I've just finished my big project for 2002. I've mapped out all the hot water pipes running under the floorboards. Of course, those stupid owners of mine just think that I flop myself down anywhere. Ignorant savages!