This Town Ain't Big Enough...

Lying around in the front garden, I heard them next door mention that they might be getting a rescue cat. If it isn't a rescue cat it will be when I get my paws on it! Anyway, the fools don't seem to realise that these rescue centres don't actually have any cats, they just use pictures of cute kitties to get money from gullible humans. In any case, I have a cunning plan. I have a tape of loud traffic which I'll play constantly during their "interview". Let's see them get a cat then shall we?

Purrfect Behaviour

Did you see that silly rubbish on the BBC about cats exploiting humans? All a load of rubbish and another excuse for a university lecturer to sit at home watching telly with her cat.
Cats have three simple steps to getting fed and you don't need to research it.
(1) Purr
(2) Meow pathetically
(3) Stick claw in face
Works every time!

Hot Hot Hot

Don't think the lack of prawns, tuna and mussels hasn't gone unnoticed. I'm even expected to eat this dry cat food. I hope my little reminder of what real cat food looks like will restore supplies!

Whale Meat Again

I'm going to put in a complaint about the BBC. I refer them to their charter agreement which says: '[The BBC] promotes awareness of different cultures and alternative viewpoints.' So when I responded to their Magazine item: 'Is it time to take tuna off the menu?' with a NO!, I fully expected them to print it. This is blatant anti-cat discrimination.

It's Good to Stalk

How dare anyone say that my stalking days are over? I may not be as prolific as I once was, but a cat's got to sleep. Anyway, my little present in the hallway should shut them up.

Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Cat Man!

This is an appeal to cat food manufacturers. Please stop making claims about your food being tasty. It isn't. Why not save us cats the effort of leaving your so called "meaty chunks" by making cat food consisting solely of jelly or gravy?

Getting the Bird

What's going on here. My tuna buyer keeps talking to people on the phone about budgie meetings. Why am I not invited?

Chucking Fur-balls

One of the advantages of having long fur, is that when it gets really cold outside and the snow blankets the ground... keeping my coat in shape gives me something to do when I'm resting up above the hot water pipes.

Snow Cats

People are very funny. The first sign of winter and they start complaining and making stupid misshapen animals out of snow and trying to get me to pose in them. Idiots!